Looking back…? November 13, 2008

Today’s weather is awesome…but not when you have to get up and go to work. I would love to be sitting in bed under the covers with a nice cup of coffee, watching a movie or something. Ahhhh….lol.

And….. moving on to the real world…:)

I will be driving BACK to Athens on Friday to celebrate my dad’s birthday. This will be the 3rd weekend in a row that I have done that. Am I crazy?? Maybe. But sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your family and they are worth it. I will be coming back Saturday though because I do not want to miss another Sunday at Freedom!

So…am I the only one that goes back and reads my old blogs? I don’t know…it’s so much fun to me though to see how much has changed in such a short amount of time! So this morning I was doing that and I read one of my mushy gushy ones and it made me smile…haha. Sorry – I’m weird – I know this. But it’s of course about the future and the one that God has for me. I want to post a paragraph I wrote – again - because I still feel that way and have been more encouraged than discouraged by God lately in how He has been speaking to me about this. So here it is and then I’ll talk a bit about where I am now:

‘Can I just get mushy and girly for a second….? I don’t know why now of all times in my life, but I have just really felt the need and desire to pray for my husband lately. It’s funny how much you can love someone that you don’t even know yet. But my heart has just been so heavy for him and desiring to meet him. I cannot wait to have someone to love, serve with and take care of….yes take care of – cook for, clean for, rub his feet, show respect to :-) ….that is how much I love him….and I don’t even know who it is yet! lol Obviously I am a true romantic and I love thinking about these things anyways…it’s just so cool to me that God cares about the specific little things. He knows exactly what I need and loved me enough to already pick that perfect person out for me before I was even born. How incredible!’

So yeah – I always feel like I have to apologize for talking about this but I’m not going to this time. I’m excited! I am not anxious anymore…just excited! I cannot wait to be able to serve God alongside this man and follow his spiritual leadership! I cannot wait to speak encouragement into his life and support him as he pursues what he knows God has called him to do. I could go on and on…lol. I was listening to Pastor Steven Furtick preach one of his more recent series on relationships and I was so encouraged by the awesome example he and his wife Holly are in the way that they are with each other. So anyways, until then…I am just praying hard core for him – for his protection, purity, and passion for God! The main thing God has reminded me of lately though is that before, during and especially once I get married – no matter when – my focus should ALWAYS be on Him!

Reactions November 12, 2008

I’m sitting here drinking my wonderful white mocha…mmm….wishing that I had some profound or deep thoughts…but I don’t. lol

The last couple of weeks have been extremely prayer filled because I have been in constant need to refocus my thoughts or my desires…it’s hard! I think the main thing God has been teaching me is that no matter what all goes on around me…it is up to me to choose how I react and whether or not I will choose to have a reaction that is pleasing to God. Naturally my reactions are not always so – therefore I just have to pray myself through each situation and let God change my heart – my attitude – my desires – my everything. Here’s a few instances lately where I have had to really really be intentional about letting God mold my heart:

1. When Obama was elected…I wish I could say that my natural instinct was ‘well no matter what i just need to respect and pray for my president’ – it wasn’t. But through hearing more and more of my spiritual leaders encourage me to feel that way – I have just had to pray for God to make my heart a little more respectful and trusting of His will…and He is and has been faithful.

2. When people in my office treat me like crap because I’m the admin – I have had to pray a lot lately that God would help me to love them despite that…it’s hard…especially when I really just would like to be rude right back…or….ya know…punch them in the face…jk! lol I have to pray through my reaction and let God calm me down and change my heart.

3. When I think I might have found a person who I could potentially be interested in – I have to ask God to stop me right there so that I don’t go too far with my thoughts and hopes – I find myself saying over and over again as I’m praying – ‘May your will be done – no matter what!’ I have to pray for God to slow me down and help me to be patient – even in how I react when people talk to me about that person! I’m a girl – it’s hard!

So – reactions are important! They say a lot about the heart! I just pray that my heart would be honoring to God and that I would let God make me more and more like the woman He created me to be. That is my desire.